psychotherapy  The best guidance I could wish for! Thank you!   Arjen - HR manager                psychotherapie  Why didn't I find Centrumpraktijk earlier?! It would have saved me so much time and trouble!!!   Marian - general practitioner                psychotherapie  I finally feel fit and vital again. How wonderful it is to have energy again and to have clarity in my work & to be conscious in life. !   Harold - manager                psychotherapie  Thanks to you, I no longer let it get to my head. My health is much more important than the delusions of the day. Thanks to your tips, stress has less and less of a hold on me and my entire family benefits from that.   Conrad - branch manager                psychotherapy  Thank you very much for all your efforts, I really appreciate it.   Gerard - consultant                psychotherapie  Amazing how quickly you saw through my patterns! That immediately gave me so much insight & relaxation!   Diederik - business consultant                psychotherapie  Finally someone who really knows what he's talking about! Why aren't there more of them? Irene - hr manager                psychotherapie  I am glad I took the step. In-depth and very enlightening. Exactly what I was looking for.   Arnoud - psychologist                psychotherapie  I have found the balance that I desperately need in my busy life.   Adriaan - general manager                psychotherapie  I still benefit from it every day. It helps me to get everything clear - and keep it that way!. It gives me the insight & support I need when the work piles up.   Moniek - pedagogue                psychotherapie  The personal and involved guidance has done me a lot of good. I am increasingly able to apply the tools in my daily life.   Francien - technical draftsman                 psychotherapie  Fantastic to meet someone with such deep understanding and experience! I learned a lot from it!   Daniel - doctor                 psychotherapie  Good that to have greater awareness of my patterns and pitfalls. I feel a lot stronger and I can relax more easily.   Johan - physiotherapist                psychotherapie  Everything is getting easier for me and life is getting more fun! And that's what an old grump like me says... . Never thought I would really enjoy life!   Bernard - chef                psychotherapie  Nice to know better and better how to deal with all the challenges. That works very well!   Jose - Team Leader                psychotherapie  Great what you do!   Sandra - sales manager                psychotherapie  It's getting calmer and clearer, stress has less and less of an effect on me & others are starting to notice that I'm a lot more relaxed.   Gerard - marketing director                psychotherapie  I can now handle my responsibilities well and I no longer forget myself too much, and because of that I'm much more energetic and I can finally really get going with my own work.   Roos - creative director                psychotherapie  I've been walking around with book knowledge for far too long, a waste of time. Good to really get started with you.   Thomas - professor                psychotherapie  It feels more and more natural to live consciously. That feels good and gives me a lot.   Serge - accountant                psychotherapy  Thanks for your insights, really fantastic!   Simone - HR advisor                psychotherapie  The tools you gave me are very effective. I now approach things differently; it seems like I've really become a bit wiser... .   Rene - entrepreneur                 psychotherapie  We should have come years earlier! We finally broke the negative patterns that had caused us to grow apart.   Martin & Claire                psychotherapie  Our relationship seemed to be at a dead end, but with your help we found our way back. Thank you very much for your involvement and clarity.   Sylvia & Derk                psychotherapie  After all these years of arguments and misunderstandings, it's amazing that we're now able to really talk to each other and understand each other.   Arnold & Angela               psychotherapie  Our relationship has improved a lot and we are really happy together again. It was definitely worth it! Simon and Alice               

psychotherapy relationship therapy coaching

Your lesser self


We all have lesser sides and it is important to learn to deal with them in a good way. Otherwise you can end up in a painful & hopeless struggle with your self & your feelings and waste a lot of time & energy hiding, suppressing, fighting, compensating and/or numbing your lesser sides & the associated feelings of shame, insecurity and/or inferiority - which makes it a lot harder to get better at something.

If you have (unconsciously) come to believe that you are not good enough or that you should be better or different than you are, it causes a (somewhat) dysfunctional pattern in the way you think & feel and how you treat yourself & other people. Because when you (unconsciously) feel quite worthless about something, it often has many consequences. For example, you can start to compensate strongly, feel the need to prove yourself, show off, neglect yourself, hide away and/or get depressed etc.


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Undermining & destructive


A lack of knowledge & understanding of how to deal with your lesser sides can get you in a lot of trouble with yourself and with your feelings of shame, insecurity & inferiority. Because if you start trying to hide, suppress, compensate and/or numb your lesser sides & feelings, you can inadvertently confirm & reinforce your negative view & feelings about yourself. And develop a (mild) form of (self)undermining, dependency and/or (self)destructive behavior.

That underlying (somehow) inferior feeling urges you to do something to feel better, but when you lack the insight & tools to do that in a healthy way, you can (somewhat) lapse into e.g. avoidance, pleasing, validation, dependency and/or compensatory behavior. Or you can for example become (somewhat) dominant, controlling, egoistic, arrogant or even quite aggressive or manipulative. Or you may start snubbing, criticizing or condescending others to make yourself feel better. But that won't make you a nicer or better person - nor will it make you happier.


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Dependency


You can try to lift your lesser feelings through affirmation, appreciation or admiration or through success, status or money etc. You can hide away or numb your negative feelings by shopping, binging or working hard or through drink, drugs or medication etc. But that makes you dependent on other people's opinions, conjuncture and/or substances. And whether you do that just a little or to a strong degree, it (somewhat) increases your vulnerability & insecurity - and that in turn (somewhat) increases your inferior feelings.

If you do not learn to deal with your lesser sides in a healthy way, they will continue to produce (unconscious) negative thoughts & feelings endlessly - and undermine your happiness in life (a little or a lot). And numbing or compensating for your lesser feelings, fighting your lesser sides or resigning, out shouting yourself or hiding behind an image or a facade of success, beauty and/or toughness all ultimately doesn't work - or even backfires.


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Underlying causes


If you, like a lot of people, have ever suffered a (little) dent in your self-esteem, it is important to deal with it, because otherwise these feelings may continue to (unconsciously) define your life, work & relationships. It can (unnoticed) continue to affect you negatively, leaving you more susceptible to (somewhat) (self) undermining, dependent, compensatory, (self) destructive and/or addictive tendencies. And with a little bad luck, that becomes a sliding scale.

If you don't learn to resolve the underlying causes that make you feel less (good), that remains a weakness that continues to cause a (somewhat) insecure, unhappy, lonely and/or depressed (unconscious) undercurrent within you. This makes you more susceptible to negative thoughts and fluctuations in your emotions & behavior and can cause you to lose your balance more than seems necessary or logical. And that often causes many problems with yourself & others - and incomprehension.


psychotherapist

Dealing with your lesser sides


Learning to deal with your lesser sides in a good way saves a lot of energy, pain & struggle. And it saves a lot of dysfunctional behavior and therefore a lot of complications, incomprehension & problems. You no longer have to fight, suppress or numb inferiority, shame & insecurity, and you no longer have to anxiously hide or compulsively compensate for your lesser sides, which also saves you from their endless negative consequences.

By starting to work on these issues you can learn to free yourself from that old bagage and that not only saves a lot of misery, but also (a lot of) time, money, energy & hassle. If you take that step, you can further develop your insight & you can start making practical tools your own and that will enable you to deal with your negative patterns and your lesser sides & feelings in a better & wiser way. And if you learn to strengthen your self-esteem, shame, insecurity & inferiority will increasingly lose their grip and you will start to feel better about yourself - just the way you are.

Centrumpraktijk Haarlem
Email: info@centrumpraktijk.nl
Phone: +31 616 44 43 44

Unconscious strategies ...
Unconscious strategies
Self-confidence ...
Self-confidence






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Social anxiety
Social anxiety
Guilt & blame
Guilt & blame
Fear of failure
Fear of failure
Your lesser self
Inferiority feelings