Self-worth & self-esteem

If you have good self-esteem it means that you generally feel good about yourself & are not as susceptible to comments, (possible) criticism, disapproval, rejection, ridicule and/or negativity. It makes you not very strongly interested in status, admiration, attention, affirmation, appreciation and/or possessions. Self-worth means that you feel good about yourself & with yourself - without needing very much.

You already feel good about yourself so you don't need fame, achievements, certificates, applause, beauty or status for that. You don't need possessions, money, image or expensive clothes etc. to shore up your (fragile) self-esteem or compensate for a (subconscious) lesser feeling about yourself. As a result, you don't have to twist yourself into all sorts of strange corners or work yourself half to death to perform, prove yourself & become successful - and that's a lot healthier.

Self-woth is independent

The stronger your self-esteem is, the less inclined you are to pursue compensations, whether that be money, status, appreciation or outward appearances. That doesn't mean you can't pursue success & commit to people or work hard for things you feel are worthwhile. Nor does it mean you can't be rich, famous, beautiful & successful or try to become so. Just that your self-esteem does not depend on it.

Self-worth is independent of status, achievement or success and makes you less susceptible to (self) criticism and the approval or disapproval of others. And it makes you less inclined to fall into unhealthy habits and e.g. structurally overworking, eating, drinking, shopping, dating, gaming, scrolling, binge-watching etc. and/or being very critical, negative & harsh on yourself & others.

True self-worth reduces your compensatory behavior & urge for proof and makes you less prone to addiction, because you don't need to numb, suppress or compensate for an (unconscious) negative feeling about yourself. And because you don't need as much to feel good about yourself & with yourself, you can better relax & enjoy all the fun, interesting & delicious things in (working) life.

Self-worth and performance & achievement value

In our culture, self-worth is often confused with performance & achievement value, or one's social standing, appearance or financial worth. This often causes (unconscious) inner confusion & a (subconscious) feeling of insecurity. You may develop a strong performance anxiety or fear of failure as a result, e.g., because your self-esteem is unintentionally underexposed. And creating an (unconscious) dependence on affirmation, money, appreciation, status, appearance, performance, recognition, possessions and/or image.

This often translates into ambition, high demands, perfectionism, harshness & a need to prove oneself and/or in vulnerability, fear of failure & social anxiety. Because because your lesser sides are not or hardly accepted & integrated, you can (unwittingly) develop a negative self-image and this continues to undermine you & negatively affect your self-esteem - even if you are successful.

Undermining self-woth & self-esteem

If you have (unconsciously) fallen into the trap of performance value & status etc, you find that you have unwittingly become dependent on it and need to keep performing & maintain your status, appearance & possessions etc. You have become (unconsciously) dependent on affirmation, approval, recognition and/or appreciation and this puts constant pressure on your self-esteem. It is therefore important to learn to strengthen your self-esteem and to start addressing the (unconscious) undermining thoughts, feelings & beliefs.

If you want to take those steps, that's really very positive. That's the foundation on which you can start building a really healthy & strong sense of self-worth & with which you can learn to deal with yourself, your thoughts, feelings & habits in a better & wiser way & start addressing that root cause of many problems, such as your high demands, self-criticism, harshness, insecurity, fear of failure, (self)doubt, social anxiety and/or emotionality etc.

Strengthening self-woth & self-esteem

There is a lack of knowledge & understanding of self-esteem not only in our culture, but also in psychology, even though it is the root cause of many problems. But fortunately, with the right help, you can learn to address those undermining patterns & you can develop a strong healthy sense of self-worth. You can learn to positively strengthen your self-esteem & change the limiting beliefs that make you (unwittingly) dependent, insecure or vulnerable.

When you learn to restore & strengthen your self-esteem at a fundamental level, you will find that as a result you learn to deal with excessive demands, self-criticism, harshness, proof & achievement drive and/or insecurity, vulnerability, fear of failure etc. And that you will become increasingly satisfied with & about yourself - without needing so much else. That is liberating and gives a lot of energy - which you can use to really enjoy what you are fulfilling.

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Email: info@centrumpraktijk.nl
Phone: +31 616 44 43 44

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